First Halloween
by mikita inugirl
Summary: I wondered how Inuyasha would react on Halloween. Somehow a strange event occurs and the gang experiences switches that cause trouble and confusion, yet laughter for us.
1. Chapter 1

_**First Halloween (Part one)**_

(This one goes back a little ways, and it is a little "out there." Just something else I wrote for humor. In this one, just assume that even Sango and Miroku and them can travel through the well. It made it all funnier. )

Kagome: What an exciting time of the year, despite my "monthly enemy" torturing me.

Inuyasha: "Monthly…Enemy?"

(Kagome gives him the "you know what I'm talking about" look.)

Inuyasha: Oh… right. Glad I'm not a girl.

Kagome: Lucky you. Anyway, I'm gonna dress up as Kirara for Halloween!

(Kirara meows in confusion.)

Inuyasha: Hallo-what?

Kagome: Halloween. It's where you dress up in a costume and go trick or treating for candy.

Inuyasha: Oh. Sounds like fun, especially the tricking part.

Sango: I'm gonna be a princess…

Inuyasha: Why? Princesses aren't scary.

Sango: Let me finish. I'm gonna be a dead zombie princess!

Inuyasha: Do you really have to die? If so, can I kill you?

Sango: No! I'll pretend to be one!

Inuyasha: Pretend? Okay, I get it. So, do you dress up in a scary costume, trick people, and scare the shit out of them to get their treats?

Kagome: Not exactly. See, you dress up and go door to door, and say "Trick or Treat!" Then they give you candy. Of course it's really just for kids, but hey, anyone can do it.

Inuyasha: I'd rather go scare people.

Kagome: Well go scare people then!

Inuyasha: Gee! You're grouchy.

(Miroku comes in his costume.)

Miroku: Mwa ha ha! I vant to suck your blood!

Sango: Let me guess. Dracula?

Miroku: Not Dracula… Mirokula. I vant to bite your neck!

Sango: Oh no you don't!

Miroku: You're right. I'd rather _kiss_ your neck!

Sango: No way! No how!

Miroku: Aww, where's your holiday spirit? Feel the love.

Sango: And you'll feel the pain if you don't back off!  
Miroku: Okey dokey then. I'll just try again later. On Halloween, I'm going vampire-ing!

Sango: Don't you mean womanizing?

Miroku: Hey now. Don't make fun of Mirokula. I rock! Mwa ha ha…

(Later, one of Naraku's spies delivers the news to him.)

Naraku: Halloween huh? Yes, I have a special treat for them. Or shall I say _trick_? Mwa ha ha!

(One of Naraku's spies delivered the trick to them while they were asleep the night before Halloween. They were shocked at what they found when they woke up.)

Kagome: (Waking up and yawning) Oh sleepy. Huh? This isn't my voice! I sound like… Inuyasha! Aaahh! I look like Inuyasha! I _am_ Inuyasha! Aaahh! Okay. Okay. Don't panic. I'm dreaming. Yeah, that's it. I'm sure I'll wake up soon.

Inuyasha: (Waking up) Huh? This is Kagome's room. I'm in her bed… with her voice… AND HER BODY! Oh okay. Calm down. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. I'm… hardly dressed! How can she wear this skimpy outfit!

Miroku: (Waking up and stretching) Aww. Awake from my dreams once more. Wait, I must still be dreaming because I look and sound like Sango! Whoa… (Looks down shirt) Whoa… (Smiles) Hey! I'm a hottie! I wonder…

Sango: Huh? What's with my voice? What the…! I'm Miroku! It must be a dream. (Gets up and stubs her toe) Ow! Wait… I felt pain, which means… I'm not dreaming!

(Soon, they all realize they're not dreaming and they all meet to discuss the situation.)

Inuyasha: Something's wet…

Kagome: You didn't change the—

Inuyasha: Eww! Red! Wait… change what?

Kagome: Oh boy. Let me explain this to you. Come on.

Inuyasha: I don't wanna be a girl!

(Inuyasha and Kagome leave for the moment.)

Miroku: (Looks down shirt) Hmm…

Sango: Stop it! Don't make me smack me!

Miroku: I wanna take a shower!

Sango: No!  
Miroku: Aww…

Shippo: I don't see how this could have happened.

Sango: Me either.

(Inuyasha and Kagome return.)

Kagome: Now don't forget to change.

Inuyasha: I hate being a woman.

Kagome: Now you feel empathy for me huh? Hey look at my adorable ears! Aww, how cute!

Inuyasha: Yep, you're stuck with my body, my voice, my clothes, my ears, and… my necklace! (Smiles)

Kagome: Oh no.

Inuyasha: Time for a taste of your own medicine. My turn to have fun. Sit boy!

(Kagome, in Inuyasha's body, slams to the ground.)

Kagome: Ow! Great. (Gets up)

Inuyasha: Cool! Ha ha! Ow! I have a headache, and stomach cramps, oh…

(Inuyasha lays down on the ground in the fetal position. Being in Kagome's body, _he_ has to endure some "she" things! LOL!)

Kagome: Part of the cycle.

Inuyasha: Shut up! Ooooooh, ow, ow, I don't feel too well! Or too happy! Ow…

Miroku: Hey Kagome. I mean Inuyasha. What are you doing on the ground like that?

Inuyasha: One word: Monthly! Owww…

Miroku: Ooh, glad Sango wasn't on hers. Hey, I'm getting a headache, and a lower back and stomachache. Ow… (Lays in fetal position) This sucks! Ow… What's that wet feeling? Eww!

Kagome: Sango, I'll let you handle him, or should I say _her_. (Smiles)

Miroku: Shut it! Owww…

(Back at Kagome's house, they try to make the best of their twisted Halloween.)

Miroku: Now that the Ibuprofen took away my pain, can I take a shower now?

Sango: (Sighs) Fine. Go ahead.

Miroku: Oh boy!

(He runs into the bathroom.)

Miroku: Eww! Hang on! I'm not taking a shower with this monthly condition! I almost forgot!

Sango: Knew he wouldn't.

Kagome: Look! A pumpkin!

Inuyasha: Ask me if I care! I'm still in pain!

Kagome: Come on now. Look how cool it is.

Inuyasha: (Curls up in bed) So what. Owww…

Kagome: PMS. Gets us every time.

Inuyasha: Leave me alone, damn it!

Kagome: Okay. Okay. Hey guys, guess how I carved it out! With my claws! Isn't that awesome?

Sango: Cool! Put a candle in it!  
Kagome: Okay!

(Kagome puts a candle in it and lights it.)

Kagome: Wow!

Inuyasha: So. It's ugly. Owww…

Miroku: Oh no. Pain! Cramps! Coming back! OW!

(Two hours later, their pains give them a rest.)

Miroku: Look at all this hair! It's so pretty! How should I fix it? I know! I want a braid!

Sango: I'll fix it!

Miroku: Okay!

Inuyasha: I want mine in braided pigtails!

Kagome: Here, I'll do it!

(They fix their hair for them. Apparently their girl bodies are affecting their brains! LOL!)

Miroku: Pretty!

Inuyasha: Wow! Neat!

Miroku: It coordinates with your outfit.

Inuyasha: Really? You think so? I think it's a little revealing.

Kagome: Oh come on you two! Cut out the girly girl act! Hmm… I wonder how I would look in a suit?

Inuyasha: Oh no! Definitely not good!

Kagome: Oh fine then. Have it your way. Hmm… I haven't checked out the Tetsusaiga yet!

Inuyasha: No! It can cause serious danger! That's a lot of power you're dealing with!

Kagome: I just wanna hold it.

(She tries to pull it out, but it's harder than she expected.)

Kagome: Grrr! I can't get it!

(She finally unsheathes it as it takes its true form.)

Kagome: Whoa! Heavy!

Inuyasha: Okay, now put it down before you hurt someone.

Kagome: You're not my mama… Whoa!

(She becomes unbalanced and drops the Tetsusaiga, splitting Miroku's skirt in two! Luckily he/she isn't injured.)

Miroku: Whoa! Watch it! You could have killed me! I-I mean Sango! I mean… Whatever! Uhh, could someone please get me something else to wear? (Blushes)

Kagome: Oh… right.

Sango: Well, since we're stuck like this, we should go out and enjoy the evening.

Miroku: Okay, but I'm not going like this. I need another outfit.

Kagome: I got it. Here, try this one.

(She hands Miroku a skirt, and he/she goes into the bathroom and changes.)

Kagome: We should go out here and look at all the costumes the people are wearing.

Sango: Great idea!

Miroku: Not great.

(They look to see Miroku in a very tight skirt.)

Miroku: Man! Sango! You have a fat ass.

(Smack!)

Miroku: Even now I get smacked! By a man!

(Smack!)

Miroku: Ow! Come on Sango! I am already in enough pain!

Sango: …(Smack!)

Miroku: Aww man. I thought that would do it.

(The seams begin to rip, and Miroku holds the skirt down in a girly manner.)

Miroku: Kagome! Help!

This is very odd. Poor guys stuck in female bodies enduring what us women go through every month… Ha! Losers! Anyway, more to come.


	2. Chapter 2

_**First Halloween (Part two)**_

(They all go out to enjoy their twisted Halloween.)

Miroku: Whoa! Who's the hottie dressed up like a witch?

Inuyasha: We're in ladies' bodies remember? Don't do that!

Miroku: Crap! I forgot! (Looks down shirt) Yeah, now I remember.

Inuyasha: Cut it out! Someone's coming!  
(A man comes over to Miroku.)

Man: Pardon me beauty. Have we met?

Miroku: Excuse you!

Inuyasha: (Nervous giggle) He, I mean she's just a bit cranky. Hee hee… Uhh, we need to go. Come Mir—uhh… Sango, and Inuyasha and Miroku our, umm…

Man: Boyfriends?

Miroku: Why you—

(Inuyasha covers Miroku's mouth and finishes the sentence.)

Inuyasha: Are correct. Our boyfriends. Hee hee… (Whispers to Miroku) Go along with it.

Miroku: (Moves Inuyasha's hand) I'm not gay!

Inuyasha: No, you're a woman remember? Hee hee… She's just… playing a Halloween prank.

Man: Yeah… I need to go. (Leaves)

Miroku: Phew! Close one.

Kagome: Our boyfriends huh? Smooth. Real smooth.

Inuyasha: Hey, I'm just playing along, that's all.

Sango: Oh yeah, well that guy has his eye on you. I think he's coming over here.

Inuyasha: I can handle this. Just watch.

Man: Hello hot stuff.

Inuyasha: (Clears throat) Umm, hi. I'm Inu—Umm, Kagome. Hee hee…

Man: Join me for dinner babe? (Grope)

Inuyasha: Whoa! Oh no you didn't!

(Inuyasha knocks the man out cold.)

Kagome: Oh you sure did handle it didn't you?

Inuyasha: Nobody touches me like that and lives!

Miroku: I can handle it better than you.

Inuyasha: Yeah right. I dare you to go over to that guy over there and introduce yourself.

Miroku: All right. You're on.

(Miroku gives Inuyasha a competitive glare and casually strolls over to the man.)

Miroku: Hi my name is Sango. Hee hee…

Man: Hello sweetie. (Grope)

Miroku: Hey! Hands to yourself jerk!

(Miroku trips the man so that he lands flat on his face.)

Miroku: There! Now you have personally met the ground… face-to-face!

(Inuyasha laughs as Miroku walks back over to them.)

Miroku: That's not funny.

Inuyasha: Ha ha ha! Yeah, much better than me.

Miroku: Ooh! What nerve of that jerk!

Sango: Now you know how I feel when you do that to me!

Miroku: Yeah? How?

(A couple of girls are staring at Miroku and Sango, and just a reminder: They are in girls' bodies!)

Kagome: Let's get back to my place before something else happens.

(Back at Kagome's…)

Miroku: I'm sick of this period crap! I want my body back!

Inuyasha: Me too! I'm sick of this!

Sango: You know, we haven't even wondered how this happened.

Kagome: We haven't, have we?

Inuyasha: Who cares how it happened! All I know is that it just did!

Miroku: Stop yelling! I have a headache!

Inuyasha: Oh stop complaining so much! I have one too!

Miroku: Shut your mouth! You're getting on my nerves!

Inuyasha: You're getting on mine!

Kagome: Okay, you two! Cut it out!

Inuyasha: You're not in this body at the moment! Butt out!

Sango: Guys! We need to figure this out!

Miroku: I don't want to figure anything out right now. I just want to curl up and lay down.

(He lies down in the floor curled up into a ball.)

Miroku: Owww… Let's just figure this out later… when I'm not in pain!

Inuyasha: Ditto, but since I have Kagome's body, I get Kagome's bed. (Curls up in bed) Owww… Damn it! I hate this!

Kagome: They've had a rough day. Let's let them sleep.

Sango: Yeah, I understand. We should rest too.

(As they all drift into sleep…)

Naraku: I bet they're all miserable. Mwa ha ha! Time to step up.

(Kagome wakes up and decides to walk outside.)

Kagome: I hope I'm not stuck like this forever.

Inuyasha: Kagome?

Kagome: Inuyasha… hey.

Inuyasha: I can't sleep. I'm still cramping.

Kagome: Do you think we'll ever turn back to normal?

(Kagome thinks, "If we don't, I can't love myself. I don't want to look at _that_ everyday!" Inuyasha thinks, "I don't wanna go through with this shit every month!" They look at each other and sigh.)

Inuyasha: I hope we will return to normal. I don't want to stay in this body forever. I mean, besides all this pain, it's too weak and vulnerable.

Kagome: What! Are you calling me weak and vulnerable!

Inuyasha: No! I'm saying that… wait, I guess I am.

Kagome: Oh really! Well, who'd want to be stuck as some flea-bitten scum bag all their life!

Inuyasha: Hey! I'm not flea bitten!

Kagome: Well, I'm not weak!

Naraku: Oh dear. Am I interrupting?

Inuyasha: Naraku, what the hell do you want! Did you do this!

Naraku: Trick or treat… Mwa ha ha!

Inuyasha: Grrr, I need my sword but I can't use it in this body! Damn it! What do we do!

Naraku: Well. Well. Someone's a little cranky.

Inuyasha: If I weren't in this female body, I would kill you!

Naraku: Yep. No one enjoys it more than me.

Inuyasha: Shut the hell up and prepare to die…! Somehow.

Naraku: Face it. In that scrawny body, you're useless. You couldn't harm a flea!

(Inuyasha starts to go furiously toward Naraku, and Myoga is hopping in front of him trying to prevent him/her from confronting Naraku.)

Myoga: Wait master Inuyasha! Wait! You—

(Inuyasha fails to even notice Myoga and steps on him, flattening him.)

Myoga: Couldn't harm a flea huh? Owww… That one's a lie.

(Inuyasha is furious. He wants to kick Naraku's ass so badly that he can't control his temper, especially on top of the "monthly enemy.")

Sango: Inuyasha! Kagome! Naraku?

Miroku: You did this!

Naraku: Yeah. Pretty funny huh?

Miroku: Let's see you go through a period in a woman's body! I'm miserable as hell!

Naraku: Ha ha ha ha! I mean, poor lady.

(Naraku's retort does not amuse Miroku. It only angers him to an even greater extent.)

Miroku: You're dead!

(He tries to attack Naraku, but it's no use. Naraku blocks his attack and knocks him into a tree.)

Inuyasha: Don't hurt her… I mean him!  
(Inuyasha looks around for something to use, and all he finds is Kagome's bow and arrows. He takes an arrow and situates it on the bow, aiming it at Naraku.)

Inuyasha: What now! You're cornered!

(Inuyasha tries to shoot it, but it goes one inch before hitting the ground like a dud.)

Inuyasha: Damn it! Piece of shit!

(Miroku gets back up after being thrown down and grabs the Hiraikotsu.)

Miroku: That's it!

(Miroku tries to throw the Hiraikotsu, but he can't even lift it! Sango comes over and takes it.)

Sango: Here, I'll do it. Hiraikotsu!

(She/he throws it, but it misses big time. Hey, at least it went somewhere.)

Sango: I'm not adapted to this body.

Miroku: (Groping breasts) I am quite acquainted.

Sango: Cut it out you pervert! Now is not the time! In case you haven't noticed, this is Naraku we're facing! (Smack!) Hands off of my body!

Miroku: You mean _my_ body.

Sango: That's what I said! Now stop fooling around and get serious!

(Inuyasha is still attempting to fix the arrow properly on the bow, but he's getting nowhere. He gets fed up and throws the bow down on the ground, still holding the arrow.)

Inuyasha: Fine!

(Inuyasha throws the arrow, and it definitely doesn't go far! Inuyasha and his temper. Hee hee… Upon seeing this vulnerability, Naraku strikes Inuyasha, throwing him/her to the ground. This makes Kagome furious, so she unsheathes Tetsusaiga and aims it at Naraku with fierce determination.)

Kagome: That's it! Now I'm mad! I hope I know what I'm doing… Well, here goes.

Inuyasha: Huh!

Kagome: Wind Scar! Hiy-yah!

(Kagome actually succeeds and it hits Naraku, causing him a little pain… Hey! They're getting somewhere!)

Naraku: Ow. Tough wench aren't you? Fine, I'll change you back! Geez!

(He changes them back to normal and immediately flees.)

Inuyasha: Yes! My body! I'm back!

No more bleeding…! Unless I get injured of course, but who cares! I'm back!

Miroku: Yeah! I'm me again! All right! Beware ladies, Miroku's back!

Sango: (Sarcastically) Oh joy. He's back to being a flirting, womanizing monk.

Miroku: Yep. (Places hands on chest) I'll miss those babies though.

Sango: Why you pervert! I'll kill you!

(Sango chases Miroku around while the monk runs away from her. Inuyasha and Kagome just shake their heads in disappointment.)

Inuyasha: He'll never learn.

(Without even realizing it, Inuyasha puts his hands on his chest, and this upsets Kagome.)

Kagome: And just what are you doing!

(Inuyasha realizes what she's referring to and moves his hands with a sweat drop.)

Inuyasha: I was just—

Kagome: Yeah right! I can see what you've been up to!

(A woman walks by and hears their conversation.)

Kagome: I can't believe you'd take advantage of me like that!

Inuyasha: I didn't!

Kagome: Liar! I saw you do it!

Inuyasha: Saw me do what!

(The woman just walks away like she didn't see a thing. Apparently it weirded her out!)


End file.
